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Feast Trilogy (2005 - 2009)

Dir: John Gulager

 

"Feast" (2005)

Winner of the 'Project Greenlight' competition for new film makers (with executives including Wes Craven and Ben Affleck) John Gulager's (son of the legendary actor Clu Gulager , "The Killers", "ROTLD", who also appears as a non nonsense bartender) "Feast" was not only a welcome (and financially essential) change of genre for 'Greenlight' but also a rare thing in its own right...a full-on, creature feature, horror film that manages to surprise on almost every level.

Superbly written Gulager's movie instantly plays games on the audience by name-checking the characters and giving them a couple of stats, the most importantly unimportant being their 'Life Expectancy' status, a seemingly overblown and self-indulgent idea that actually turns out to be a creation of utter genius in the way it is used and in how wickedly untrue it may well turn out to be.

Crafting a simple, claustrophobic, set-up and setting (a dirt road bar) and filling it with varied, off the wall and interesting characters Gulager then throws at them some of the most brutal, slam bang, twisted monsters seen in a horror movie for a long time.

And with some superlative, on set, practical FX and monster work he proceeds to put them, and the audience, through a gore-drenched, gross-out, utterly insane meat grinder of a movie that expertly turns basic plot/character convention on its head in some of the most surprising, shocking and just damn entertaining ways possible.

Digestive juices death, maggot explosions, bitten off heads, ripped open stomachs, slashed throats, monster genital madness and mutilation, helpless mouth rape, bear trap decapitation and gallons of blood are on the menu here as our ragtag bunch try to hold off the mysterious rutting critters with their gigantic claws, misshapen bodies and shit loads of teeth.

Blackly comic, grotesque, gory, blood drenched, exciting, surprising, clever, well acted and superbly structured John Gulager's "Feast" never once stops to take a breath and never once fails to entertain
Right up until the last second in fact the clever screenplay and ideas just keep on delivering.

But as the lesser sequels would show (when Gulager was let out on his own to play) it is also other, calmer, 'Project Greenlight' minds that turn out to be a vital aspect in just how well the glorious moments of madness, off the wall ideas and far-out structure of Gulager's baby actually work, as they obviously kept him focused and kept his more damaging excesses under check.

So as far as splatter filled monster films go ..."Feast" is quite frankly a work of warped genius.

 

 

"Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds " (2008)

It seems Mr John Gulager has had the training harness of 'Project Greenlight' removed before he was ready to walk on his own...and sure enough he spends most of "Feast 2" falling flat on his face.

The rather nasty looking video image is a step down form the fine looking original (some really over-saturated colours, nasty on the eyes nighttime scenes and purple-tinged blood) as is the use of dodgy CGI for blood and gore (something the original seemed to avoid completely) and some dire green-screen backdrops.
Not least of which is the awful studio bound/green-screen hell skyline final portion of the film when the characters go onto a roof.

The film also goes too far into self-indulgent comic shenanigans that too often come off as an even more juvenile early 'Troma' film. Not good.
And often what was sickly funny for the first minute (like the monster autopsy scene) gets turned into moments of abject stupidity and annoyance by Culager letting them run too long in yet more examples of out of control self-indulgence.

**MILD EVENT SPOILERS**

There's also an unpleasant sadistic, gloating, attitude to death as well, something again cleverly stepped around in the first film.
The, seen in the first film, digestive juices fate of an old lady is all fine and dandy as an idea, but seriously sadistic in execution.
To have her basically rot away to a gloopy, fetid corpse-state is one thing, to keep her alive for so long during it and placing really unsettling wimpering and crying sounds over her rotting carcass at the same time is just nasty for nastiness sake and just isn't the fun Gulager seems to personally think it is.

The most foul moment of this blatantly self-indulgent, out of control, wallow in truly unpleasant sadism (made worse because it's in the wrong film for such things, despite the general bad taste on display) is the infamous 'baby' sequence.
The idea is in bad taste and sick, which is okay...though it won't be to many...but the way it is executed is not okay.
The way Gulager crafts and shoots this sequence during the final moments (where we see, in slow motion close-up the genuine unhappiness and indeed fright on the baby's tear streaked face) simply destroys any remote black comic entertainment the idea may have delivered and replaces it was genuine disgust and a massively uncomfortable feeling that as good as kills the rest of the film.
I can honestly think of no bigger misstep (and misreading of the audience) by a director in any film.

** END OF SPOILERS**

On top of that we have too broadly drawn comic characters that move the film into rather silly territory and none of the new characters here have any of the charm of those in the first movie.

There are some good moments and ideas to be dug out of this mess though.
The creatures are fun and thankfully all practical effects and are let down in looks only by their occasional placement against crappy green-screen.
There are still some fun and messy practical FX to be seen (though nothing on the superlative scale of the first film) and the action scenes still have that same frantic and well executed feel.
Some of the (already established in such a genius fashion in part 1) unexpected events and outcomes involving the characters are also still here and that benefits the film greatly, although not many are done as well as the original entry.
Returning veteran actor (and father of the director) Clu Gulager is a highlight too and shows just what a cool hard ass he still is after all these years during a gloriously out of control beat-down he dishes out to a deserving character who also re-appears.

So an ugly looking, self-indulgent, juvenile, silly, out of control mess with some huge, grotesquely unpleasant, missteps.
But we have just enough successful aspects (and nice, if wonderfully gratuitous, nudity) to ensure "Feast 2" manages to limp into the vaguely entertaining and just about watchable category.

 

 

"Feast 3: The Happy Finish" (2009)

Blimey, it seems someone slapped a bit of self-control into John Gulager's head and got him too pull back just enough on the more tiringly juvenile scenes, unfunny moments of sadism, and bloated self-indulgence.
There' still a far too silly attitude at times here and some of the crass vulgarity (which can be okay if it is in context and better handled) sits badly because it has no point to it (like a character shitting himself and a scene of Clu Galager farting) and many of the unpleasant and too broadly essayed and written characters from the first film are still here.

But we do have some vast improvements from the "Feast 2".
For a start the colour is better here as well as the lighting (almost no eye raping bad "Suspira" moments here) and the blood has lost much of that purple tinge.
We also have far less CGI!
Hooray!

Gone are almost all the truly bad, cheap looking, green-screen backdrops that really hurt "Feast 2" and made it so hard to watch and gone is much of the painful CGI blood.
Actual 'real' blood spurting from practical FX appliances is thankfully the order of the day here for most of the movie and once again the scenes of carnage are fun, gross and nasty.

There's also more actual violence in some of the deaths/gore scenes as well, a particularly nasty (but crucially just the right side of nastiness) stabbing also results in the best blood covered bared breasts scene since 1975's "Alucarda"!
We also have some well staged action scenes again (a bit too much shaky cam but not too bad) all done with great pace and skilled planning. A strobe light sequence is especially memorable.

Culager certainly pushes the more silly and comic strip aspects here at times like he did in "Feast 2" though and some of the damage done to characters that almost gets shrugged off is more "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" than "Feast".
But some of the humour attached to these scenes is effective, and one moment involving Clu Gulager and his medical skills is a genuine hoot!

The film also gets back on track as far as the way it handles characters and their fates.
The first 2 proper deaths here (after the initial re-cap of the "Feast 2" finale) are on par with any in part 1 and once again Gulager offers up that genius ability to keep the audience off guard even when it thinks it's ready.
Great plotting, and far better than anything in "Feast 2".

Without (although we do still have the odd shot) the crap green-screen backgrounds and better looking picture/colour the monsters are also better served and these wonderfully crafted beasties offer up some top notch, practical/on set creature filled fun and although their rampant sexual urges and whopper genitals (cleverly used for shock effect in part 1) are still here they are toned down to better effect than their over the top, tiresome, use in part 2.

Once again Clu Gulager is the acting highlight and once again he shows what a full-on old timer he is. He seems to have become the unshackled by social convention Grandad the adults fear inviting to Christmas dinner because they know he's going to say something inappropriate, although the kids love him as they think it's hysterical when, sure enough, he calls Aunt Flora a fat old cunt. And yeah, Gulager uses that word here and you can't quite believe it when it happens.
God bless you Clu, you cool old bugger you.

The finale (after the short 65 minute running time) is one big, utterly insane, laugh in our faces that should insult and enrage but somehow doesn't. Amazingly this moment of abject nuttiness works.
Do we wave our fists at the screen? Yes. But we do it with a damn smile on our faces.

So "Feast 3" is most certainly not as good as part 1 and it still has some juvenile self-indulgence problems and less than likeable characters, but it's a big improvement in almost every way than "Feast 2" and thankfully manages to deliver far more bad taste, blood drenched, gore-filled fun as well.